What should you give a man
who has everything?
a) a woman to show him how to work
it
b) Penicillin
Why do black widow spiders
kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Why don't men have mid-life
crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.
How is being at a singles
bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.
What makes men chase
women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars
they have no
intention of driving.
Why are husbands like
lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors,
and don't
work half the time.
Why do men want to marry
virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
What do you have when
you have two little balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.
Do you know why bankers
are good lovers?
They know first hand the penalty for early
withdrawal.
Why is a man different
from a PC?
You only have to tell the PC once
What do you do with
a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift?
Exchange him.
Why is urine yellow
and sperm white?
So men can tell if they are coming or going.
Why don't women blink
during foreplay?
They don't have time.
How can you tell if
a man is getting old?
It ain't hard!
What's wrinkled and
hangs out a man's underwear?
His mother...
A perfect man, a perfect
woman and Santa Claus were leaving a department store. Who would
be holding open the door?
The perfect woman of course, the other two
are figments
of the imagination.
What did the elephant say to the naked
man?
It's cute but can you pick up peanuts
with it?
Why is it the only time
a man is smart is when he is having sex?
Because he is plugged into a woman! |
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